UGH

Here goes another long ass rant.

I really hate you sometimes. How the fuck can you say that I’ve been using you. It’s the other fucking way around. I’ve done your homework and your projects for you because you were so stressed out. I fucking even did your research paper. And I did all this even though I was stressed out as well.

Did you ever think that my life didn’t revolve around you? That maybe I had a bunch of stuff going on that I needed to take care of. This is my finals week too, and I need to study and do stuff for that as well.

I asked you to hold on to the TV because my room was too small for it. Now, as someone who was living ALONE in a double room, this shouldn’t have been too much to ask. You put it in the corner and everything was fine. [like I was going to give you my Playstation and my guitar hero, I’ve seen how you keep that room, and I don’t want my shit trashed. ]

Stop acting like you’re the victim all the time, and that you’re the only one who’s right and moral. Just because Sonoma isn’t the perfect match for you doesn’t make it a hell hole. Just because you don’t drink and have fun with friends doesn’t mean your roommates are alcoholics and bad people. Just because you have a crush on a celeb you’ll never get, doesn’t mean someone else can’t spend time with their boyfriend.

I’m tired of your constant negativity! It’s not that hard to change that, but you make it out to be climbing Mt. Everest. I was just like you in high school. I changed myself for the better and look at me now. Happy, with a high GPA, a stable job, a boyfriend I love, and a life I can be proud of. Stop letting bad things happen to you. Take control of your life and make it the one you want to be.

Oh, and btw, I DO UNDERSTAND. I’m not a fucking idiot.

The Legalization of Marijuana

So by now everyone has heard of the attempt to legalize marijuana to bring in tax revenue. This is my response to this whole debate.

First off, I wonder if those who call marijuana a "harmful" drug and a "gateway to more dangerous drugs like cocaine or heroine" have ever actually smoked it, or hung around people who do. Marijuana, for the most part, is the most harmless drug of them all if you get straight down to immediate effects. According to erowid.com these are the effects:

mood lift, euphoria
laughter
relaxation, stress reduction
creative, philosophical or deep thinking : ideas flow more easily
increased appreciation of music. More aware of, deeper connection to music.
increased awareness of senses. (eating, drinking, smell)
change in experience of muscle fatigue. Pleasant body feel. Increase in body/mind connection.
pain relief (headaches, cramps)
boring tasks or entertainment can become more interesting or funny
general change in consciousness (as with many psychoactives)
increased appetite, snacky-ness
slowness (slow driving, talking)
change in vision such as sharpened colors or lights
closed-eye visuals (somewhat uncommon)
tiredness, sleepiness, lethargy

In all of this, no where do you find aggression or easy agitation. It is a peaceful drug and in more cases than none, it knocks the user on their ass, making them lazy and incapable of doing much else. Alcohol in large doses causes many to lash out and fight, say things they want to keep secret, and participate in actions they normally wouldn't and probably shouldn't. Driving under this influence is also extremely dangerous and causes more deaths than many others. Weed use does not produce these same effects and are relatively harmless.

While it does have an addicting nature, many find that they do not become completely dependent on it. Just like alcohol and tobacco, and even food, and any substance or action can become addicting. If addiction is a valid case for criminalization, then let's ban shopping, eating, exercising and countless other things. Just because some people are unable to handle drugs does not mean that others can't. Anything is ok in moderation.

I personally feel that marijuana is not a gateway drug towards more harmful ones. "Studies" have shown it is, but they are funded by anti-marijuana parties. Anyone who has ever experienced it first-hand would know that it's quite the opposite. Steady users are quite content to continue it's use, and in my experience if a stronger drug is necessary, shrooms are the drug of choice (I've never done them, just seen it happen).

I'm not advocating complete and total freedom if it's legalized. Rules will have to be implemented for its use. Age limits, driving laws, and public use laws will be necessary in order to maintain stability in our society. Distribution will also have to be watched, eliminating illegal drug cartels from the south and ensuring quality marijuana. An expert on CNBC said this will only further the illegal cocaine and heroin industries, but I feel that marijuana legalization would have no effect on it whatsoever.

More modest studies are showing that by legalizing weed we could earn $14 billion a year in taxes, and others are showing estimates in the 40 billion dollar zone. As we enter the inevitable, and quite possibly greatest depression the country as ever faced, we now realize the status quo is not working. Tax cuts to the rich are bullshit and do not encourage more spending. The unbelievable amount of money spent on the now futile war in Iraq is draining U.S. accounts and plummeting us further and further into debt. A new source of revenue that does not include overtaxing the already suffering middle and lower classes is necessary.
Not only would legalization create a new source of revenue, it would create stable, accepted jobs. People could work as dealers, or continue to keep a job lost due to use.

To end this long rant, we've seen with prohibition that criminalization does not work and leads to fighting and sending hundred (and in today's case, thousands) of people into prison. If we could earn $40 billion/year just by legalizing marijuana, I feel it would be worth it. It's a pretty harmless drug.

[Note: This opinion was not written because I am a frequent marijuana user. I admit I have used it in the past, but I do not like smoking it and will not in the future. I simply believe there are worse drugs out there and out time, money and effort should be spent on fighting those drugs.]

To see the CNBC debate, follow this link: http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1010175323&play=1

Synchroblog #3

"The Season of Christmas"
Have favorite memory of any pastimes spending Christmas with the family? Want to give expressions or remarks about the season known to children for Santa Claus? Think about spending a day, or vacation or, special moments with family and friends. Think about the 25th day known as a tradition of being able to give unto others and not worry about receiving gifts back. You should talk about the season of Christmas. Whatever your heart desires, think carefully on what you think the meaning of Christmas is all about. Why is special about the winter time? Is there anything special about December besides just Christmas? It is up to you to talk about whatever you like about in any direction you want.

I think that as I get older, Christmas becomes less exciting and more just something that need to be done. I have to buy everyone presents, find a way to make it home, clean the house before everyone gets there. It’s pretty sad that this is the way that I view Christmas now. Putting up the lights and making sure the right cookies were made for Santa and the carrots were laid out for the reindeer, hanging the ornaments – one for each Christmas – and trying to find the perfect tree. That is what Christmas used to be. I remember mom forcing my sister and I into these ridiculous metallic light blue puff jackets that made me look like Frosty just so she could take a picture to put on a Christmas card. My sister and I gave her such hell for that. I tried to steal some of the cards so they wouldn’t get sent out to people, but mom just ordered new ones. That picture is now hanging on my wall at home, and it’s one of my favorites of my sis and me. I remember how Aimee and I would always stay at the Hilton on Christmas Eve with my grandparents and the “Hilton Santa” would leave us Beanie Babies. It was never the one we wanted so the sis and I would trade. I still laugh about it now, because it happened every time. I loved being there with the grandparents, especially when they covered our eyes as we walked back into our house so we couldn’t see the presents. Once we walked in and found Shaida sitting in the backyard. I was scared to death of that dog. I didn’t want her (Big mistake- that dog is the love of my life. I can’t see what I would do without her). Then after Dad was done playing Santa, and everything was cleaned up, Mom would make breakfast and start on the cooking. Dad would put batteries in all the new electronics, and we would have to start cleaning. The rest of the family would come over and start talking, looking at all the new presents.

So that was Christmas when I was little. Before I hit junior year of high school. Since then, especially now that I’m in college, it’s not like that anymore. I don’t have the money to buy presents, but everyone expects me to. My grandpa is no longer with us and we don’t stay with my grandma at the Hilton; Aimee and I fight too much for her. And now just getting home for the holidays is tough. Up until yesterday I had to work the day after. I’ll only be home for a few days. =[ But even when I am, the presents aren’t going to be the same because I wont want them [unless it’s a new car, I still want that] and everyone knows I don’t believe in Santa anymore. Dad doesn't do the lights the same way, and the candy-cane trees - my favorite thing in the world- are forgotten about. Cleaning up will be a bitch since mom will want the house absolutely spotless – that has never, and can never, happen-. I wont want to eat as much food because all of a sudden, I’m conscious of the weight, and then the whole family is eventually going to start talking about school and politics, the two things I don’t want to talk about on my vacation, and then I’ll end up going out with some friends that same night.

All sense of tradition and festivity is gone. I just want to be little again, and have one more amazing Christmas.

How to combat illegal immigration

My political science professor assigned us debate topics he would later quiz us on. Now, no one ever paid attention to these debates, you just had to think of logical reasons for or against an issue. Or at least listen to the opening statement. We were all smart enough to include our main points in there so the rest of the class could doze off or work on other assignments.

Now, one of these topics was on illegal immigration – whether we should build some giant 30 foot wall along the United States/Mexico border. While I know the one team was forced to argue for it, I don’t see how anyone could come to side with it. Conservative republicans like Sarah Palin and the majority population of Texas may like to shoot their guns and don’t mind aiming them at “humans” (if these self proclaimed enforcers can really call Mexicans that), but this isn’t the way to end it.

The proposed government plans are also extremely ineffective and will just make the problem worse. By allowing those who have lived in the country illegally for a certain amount of time automatic citizenship, the government is basically promoting to the aliens “hey, we don’t give a fuck! Just come in here illegally and after a while, we’ll get sick of trying to keep you out and just let you in”. These immigrants won’t have to take a test and can skate by without paying taxes for a few years.

What idiot came up with that idea?

It may seem like I’m against immigration altogether, but that’s not true. I have no problem with people coming to the US legally. I encourage it. My step-grandmother moved here from Canada, and she went through all the necessary steps to do it right. She didn’t have any money but she still became a citizen and did her civic duty by paying taxes and getting a job.

I just don’t understand why people feel that they should receive free health care or go to college for free (while my hard-working, law-abiding family goes broke trying to keep me at SSU) and never have to pay taxes?

So now that I’ve ranted enough here are the steps to stopping illegal immigration.

1. Don’t make it so easy for them to abuse the system: The government should not pay for college, and taxpayer money should not be used to pay for health care. It sounds mean, and probably really is, but it’s the abuse of these programs that entice thousands of people to sneak across the border.
2. Forget about building a wall: That would cost way too much money in an already failing economy. Let’s put that money towards education or stabilizing the banks.
3. Stop taking years to process someone’s citizenship: The citizenship process is difficult, and above all, long. By the time the request is processed, the wanna-be citizen has given up and just entered illegally. Just make the process faster.
4. Punish those who steal SSNs: As a victim of identity theft, this one really hits home for me. Hector Suarez from Modesto felt that it was alright to use someone else’s SSN, run credit card bills up the ass and create a terrible credit score, forcing a bank closure of the account. So now I’m fucked because of his immoral actions. Banks won’t give me loans, I could never buy a car because my credit report is so screwed up, and everywhere I go I have to watch what I do. Luckily, I was 7 when he did this, so I can fight it, but what about all the other citizens who have had their identity stolen, and millions of dollars taken from them because some asshole couldn’t pay taxes or gain citizenship the right way. Those who do take SSNs should be thrown back to their home country and put in jail there…

Or, the alternate way is to just keep running this country into the ground so no one wants to come here anymore =P

On Quitting

Josh Skillman wasn’t just one of the most attractive professors with the coolest accents I’ve ever had. I think that he may also be the wisest. Not only was he extremely relatable (mostly because he was still so young himself), but he had the power to drill in important points and recite from memory what I consider one of the greatest poems I’ve heard:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will. When the road you're trudging seems all up hill. When funds are low and the debts are high. And you want to smile, but have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns. As every one of us sometimes learns. And many a failure turns about, and he might've won had he stuck it out: Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with just another blow. Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man. Often the struggle has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup, and he learned too late, when the night slipped down, how close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out - The silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you can never tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far: So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Don’t you quit.

I can’t ever quit. And this is both a negative and positive thing.

Let’s start off on the bright side. My perseverance gets me what I want. I keep thinking up new ways to find it. I’ll work my ass off to be the best. And if something goes wrong, I look for a way around it. With me, third time is the charm. It’s always in the third year of something. Took 3 years to become Editor in Chief of the high school paper, three years to be a starter on a club softball team, three years to find a successful study strategy. And now it looks like it is going to take 3 years to find my true friends. (This means I have one more year. I’ll explain later). Even though this may take a while, it will happen. Until then, I won’t stop working for it.

I’m a fighter. I don’t let anything go. I’m stubborn. I’ve learned this about myself, but I don’t want to change it. With the current situation I’m in, my mom says I need to just drop it and let this girl be the immature one, not to let her get to me; after all, it’s just stuff. Here’s the thing: it’s MY stuff. Stuff I love that I was nice enough to let her borrow. Why should I let her keep it? I’m not going to let that bitch win. I feel like the colonists in the Revolutionary War. Down in the beginning, but victorious in the end. Where would we be now if they chose to just abandon their cause and let the British win?

Quitting is hard. Not quitting is harder.

[Next topic: illegal immigration, and how to stop it (someone remind me to write on this)]

Synchroblog #2: On Happiness

The prompt for this month’s synchroblog is: "I'm usually in a good mood or being myself when..."

Have any of you ever seen me in a really good mood? I’m just curious. Because I don’t think I ever am. And according to a conversation I had with two old friends last night, I never do. Oh well. I guess I’m only myself when I’m around two kinds of people: my family and those I know I can trust, or random strangers that I will probably never see again.

With my family, I know that I can pretty much act like the biggest ditz in the world and it won’t faze them. That’s probably the one thing I can enjoy. When I was home for the summer it was a little different. I couldn’t tell them everything about me, but at least my personality could be what I wanted it to be. I figured they would love me no matter what, so I could talk about the most random things on the planet and they wouldn’t care. I would drive them up the wall, but they would still listen.

The same holds true for those friends that I know I can trust. And that number is very small. It’s pretty much Hayley, who has proven she’s an awesome friend that doesn’t let stupid things get in the way, Ryan, who I only really talk to online, Michael, because we are the coolest siblings in the entire world, and one other friend I can’t mention here (but things are kinda complicated in a good way with him). So yeah, 4 people outside my family who know the real me. Guess I’m only in a good mood a small percent of the time, because those are the only people I’m ever myself and truly happy around.

The random strangers, yeah those are the people I meet at raves. And I’m myself around them because they don’t give a fuck. They are the nicest and down to earth people I meet. I can act like me- and they get it. Hell, they even love it. I can be my serious self around Chesh, be “sensitive” with Rabbit, go crazy dancing around everyone else. It’s just amazing. The music puts me in the greatest mood, even more so than the people. It’s exhilarating, especially if I get killer sets from my favorite DJs that just make me want to keep dancing even though I’m completely exhausted and sore. At that point, although I can’t dance and I look retarded, I’m me. A HAPPY me.

I guess that last paragraph was kinda redundant, sorry for that. I’m sitting in the library and I’m a little distracted. And this Infected Mushroom song came on, which is awesome.

Best time to find me in a good mood and being myself: Right after I have finished an article and it has turned out to be one of my best. Nothing beats that. EVER. Maybe seeing it published, but it’s not quite as immediate. The sense of accomplishment lifts me up and turns me into this super-nice person. I never thought about this before, but no one has ever seen me when this happens, so they don’t comment and I forget about it.


Mmmk, so that answers this blog. Any questions?

As for posting links, I have no idea how to make it a link. So you get URLs =D
www.thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com (Nathan)
www.daretodreamthinkdo.blogspot.com/ (Kelvin, creator)

Let me know if you want me to post your link.

Also, does anyone know how to become a follower?

LMAO

You know those AllState SAfe Driver commercials?
The ones that they play over and over again, sometimes even twice in a row?


Have you ever looked at the fine print on the TV?

That service isn't even offered in California, let alone some of the other states where accident rates are high.
Haha, really look at it next time.


I wonder why they even air it here?

In the 5 minutes

that I have until my COMS 368 class I would like to rant.

So excuse this.


I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BULLSHIT AND DRAMA
GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!





Thank you for bearing through that with me.

Granted, I totally screwed up the inflection in that written translation of my thoughts, but what else can I do.
Seriously, I try to pride myself on being a good friend. I've been trying very hard since the beginning of summer fall-out with Carly. I'm careful about what I say and do, and I ALWAYS support those that I'm closest to. It just sucks that some of these friends get mad at me for no apparent reason, and when I later find out why, it's someone else's fault and I'm getting all the blame. The other person has even proven, time and time again, that they are untrustworthy, unreliable and generally a jack ass.

Gahhhhhh shoot me!

Update

Well well well.

I did it again.

I took on too much this semester. I thought I had toned it down. I'm only taking 5 classes for 18 units, which is so much better than last year's 6 for 19. My job on campus is barely stressful, the only thing that sucks is that I have to wake up at 7 am. My other job is killing me, at least with the newspaper. Since I'm writing sports, all the events happen on the weekend, and most coaches and players don't want to talk until after the game. Well, I'm at work when the game is over - in the end this leaves a 1 hr block to do the interview and write the article. I can't really handle this anymore, and it isn't fair to my editor that my articles are late and not as good as they should be. I need to talk to the advisor about switching sections.

Social life is kinda a bust right now. I had a blast at Kevin's house rave that got busted/moved down 5 blocks/back to his place again. Lol. It made me miss the good times, like Pisces, when there was no drama and I had the most fun. I forgot how much I loved dancing with Kevin and just kinda being solitary when I wanted to be. Meh. Psymbolic is gonna be crazy, and I know it won't measure up to what I missed at Lovefest, but I Sausee is gonna play, and it's going to be a good time.

That was kinda rambly. Oh well. More later.

Sigh

I hate having to be an adult.


Enough said.