You know how people describe an out of body experience? I had an IN body experience. And it’s something I’ve never felt before. I had never been this aware of who I am, what I am made of and where I am in the grand scheme of things.
It’s impossible for me to describe to you the feeling I had. I was infinitely more attentive and responsive to all my senses. Have any of you ever really used all five senses at once? And REALLY noticed what you’re feeling? Ever been AWARE and feeling touch, scent, taste, sight and hearing at once? Ever ponder about how all of our reality really takes place inside your mind – how the whole world is encapsulated in a 3 pound brain?
I know I never had before. I felt out of place in that small and stuffy classroom; no one else was feeling the intense sensation I was and I thought none of them ever would.
I was inspired. I brought out my markers and started coloring, something I never get to do but love more than anything in the world. Combining and counteracting colors in a tangle and swirl and it accurately captured my emotion. To you, it may look cheesy and juvenile, but to me it was a snapshot of perhaps one of the greatest moments in my life.
Class ended and I walked outside to be greeted by a bright sun, vibrant colors and a crisp breeze. I sat down in my spot by Ives Hall and did the same thing I did inside.
Oh my god.
I’d never believed in a higher power until that moment. I still don’t believe in a God, but there has to be something that created such a wonderful world. If you’re ever feeling down, or like the world is closing in on you, go outside. Relax, take a few deep breaths and then try to forget everything that was ever making you mad. Close your eyes for a minute, and when you open them, focus for a few seconds on every one of your senses. Now focus on all of them at once.
You might be surprised as to what you find.
I discovered that if I think positively, and know that I love myself and others love me, my body reacts in a nicer manner. I instantly felt better. The people around me were more understanding and perceptive. The world around me improved.
My thoughts can change the world; they create reality. I can choose to make it a happy place, or a negative one. But knowing this, why should I ever think horrible thoughts?
It’s people like Katie though, who really validate this discovery. She may be sore from running a marathon, but everything is peachy in her world. A Slurpee for a friend is no big deal and her reinforcement of the success of our project helped bring in a ton of money to help someone else. She doesn’t care about preserving the material things in life and the inside of her car is a memory of the great times she’s had. Thank you for the Slurpee and fun times today Katie, it helped to brighten my day.
So I’m over the ridiculousness of this one situation. It’s an insignificant matter. Who I am is not defined by one person I’m with.
I guess you could say I’m a free-spirit now (not a hippie, I’m too young to be called that), because that’s what everyone has called me today.
But you know what? I like it, and I’m happy.
The drawing from English:
