Tuesday, October 21, 2008

On Quitting

Josh Skillman wasn’t just one of the most attractive professors with the coolest accents I’ve ever had. I think that he may also be the wisest. Not only was he extremely relatable (mostly because he was still so young himself), but he had the power to drill in important points and recite from memory what I consider one of the greatest poems I’ve heard:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will. When the road you're trudging seems all up hill. When funds are low and the debts are high. And you want to smile, but have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns. As every one of us sometimes learns. And many a failure turns about, and he might've won had he stuck it out: Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with just another blow. Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man. Often the struggle has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup, and he learned too late, when the night slipped down, how close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out - The silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you can never tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far: So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Don’t you quit.

I can’t ever quit. And this is both a negative and positive thing.

Let’s start off on the bright side. My perseverance gets me what I want. I keep thinking up new ways to find it. I’ll work my ass off to be the best. And if something goes wrong, I look for a way around it. With me, third time is the charm. It’s always in the third year of something. Took 3 years to become Editor in Chief of the high school paper, three years to be a starter on a club softball team, three years to find a successful study strategy. And now it looks like it is going to take 3 years to find my true friends. (This means I have one more year. I’ll explain later). Even though this may take a while, it will happen. Until then, I won’t stop working for it.

I’m a fighter. I don’t let anything go. I’m stubborn. I’ve learned this about myself, but I don’t want to change it. With the current situation I’m in, my mom says I need to just drop it and let this girl be the immature one, not to let her get to me; after all, it’s just stuff. Here’s the thing: it’s MY stuff. Stuff I love that I was nice enough to let her borrow. Why should I let her keep it? I’m not going to let that bitch win. I feel like the colonists in the Revolutionary War. Down in the beginning, but victorious in the end. Where would we be now if they chose to just abandon their cause and let the British win?

Quitting is hard. Not quitting is harder.

[Next topic: illegal immigration, and how to stop it (someone remind me to write on this)]

Monday, October 20, 2008

Synchroblog #2: On Happiness

The prompt for this month’s synchroblog is: "I'm usually in a good mood or being myself when..."

Have any of you ever seen me in a really good mood? I’m just curious. Because I don’t think I ever am. And according to a conversation I had with two old friends last night, I never do. Oh well. I guess I’m only myself when I’m around two kinds of people: my family and those I know I can trust, or random strangers that I will probably never see again.

With my family, I know that I can pretty much act like the biggest ditz in the world and it won’t faze them. That’s probably the one thing I can enjoy. When I was home for the summer it was a little different. I couldn’t tell them everything about me, but at least my personality could be what I wanted it to be. I figured they would love me no matter what, so I could talk about the most random things on the planet and they wouldn’t care. I would drive them up the wall, but they would still listen.

The same holds true for those friends that I know I can trust. And that number is very small. It’s pretty much Hayley, who has proven she’s an awesome friend that doesn’t let stupid things get in the way, Ryan, who I only really talk to online, Michael, because we are the coolest siblings in the entire world, and one other friend I can’t mention here (but things are kinda complicated in a good way with him). So yeah, 4 people outside my family who know the real me. Guess I’m only in a good mood a small percent of the time, because those are the only people I’m ever myself and truly happy around.

The random strangers, yeah those are the people I meet at raves. And I’m myself around them because they don’t give a fuck. They are the nicest and down to earth people I meet. I can act like me- and they get it. Hell, they even love it. I can be my serious self around Chesh, be “sensitive” with Rabbit, go crazy dancing around everyone else. It’s just amazing. The music puts me in the greatest mood, even more so than the people. It’s exhilarating, especially if I get killer sets from my favorite DJs that just make me want to keep dancing even though I’m completely exhausted and sore. At that point, although I can’t dance and I look retarded, I’m me. A HAPPY me.

I guess that last paragraph was kinda redundant, sorry for that. I’m sitting in the library and I’m a little distracted. And this Infected Mushroom song came on, which is awesome.

Best time to find me in a good mood and being myself: Right after I have finished an article and it has turned out to be one of my best. Nothing beats that. EVER. Maybe seeing it published, but it’s not quite as immediate. The sense of accomplishment lifts me up and turns me into this super-nice person. I never thought about this before, but no one has ever seen me when this happens, so they don’t comment and I forget about it.


Mmmk, so that answers this blog. Any questions?

As for posting links, I have no idea how to make it a link. So you get URLs =D
www.thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com (Nathan)
www.daretodreamthinkdo.blogspot.com/ (Kelvin, creator)

Let me know if you want me to post your link.

Also, does anyone know how to become a follower?